The totally true story of how Chua Enlai left a friend to die in the open sea
Is information technology true, I asked Chua Enlai, that yous merely travel on Business Grade? "No," he replied, earnestly. "I also fly First Class."
He laughed because he was being funny. I laughed considering I was making plans to murder him. As well, I figured, information technology would just be payback for the time he almost killed me by way of holiday manslaughter.
The actor, television personality, funnyman (he doesn't like existence chosen "funnyman" but, hey, he almost killed me) and intrepid traveller was my first invitee for CNA Lifestyle's new podcast series House Party For 2, where celebrities plop themselves on my couch for the earth's to the lowest degree populated house party for an unfiltered conversation about their personal lives over drinks and makan.
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Enlai was the obvious pick for my first firm party guest, seeing as we've been friends for 20 years – and really does have to exist chased out of my regular business firm parties at 5am. In those 2 decades, we've travelled together many times, in no small part due to Enlai'due south immense talent of finding incredible deals where yous feel like y'all're vacationing like royalty while spending similar a stable boy.
One of those holidays was to the gorgeous Indonesian island of Lombok, the scene of my harrowing almost-decease experience at the hands of the man who plays Pornsak Sukhumvit on The Noose.
While my embankment vacations usually involve very little "beach" and a lot more drinking in the shade at my pool villa, Enlai (and, to be fair, the other two people we were vacationing with) persuaded me to explore the great outdoors of Lombok and Gili Islands. "Let's go snorkelling!" they said, filled with the enthusiasm of children later on consuming too much ice cream. "Permit'southward go make friends with sea turtles!"
I reminded my dear friends of my lifelong fear of existence in open water and how I am not a strong swimmer – two facts that I thought were rather pertinent in that particular situation. Merely still, there nosotros were on a rickety boat, speeding towards my impending demise.
"I don't think I can swim out that far, guys," I said as we stood at the edge of the h2o. "Apply the life vest," they mumbled, throwing on their snorkelling gear.
"I don't know how to work the snorkel mask, guys," I said, panic rising every bit I imagined sucking in water through what looked like a chimera tea straw connected to the goggles. "Just breathe lah," they said, helpfully, plopping into the bounding main. A few splish-splashes later, they were gone.
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"We left you on dry state!" said Enlai during our Business firm Party For 2 podcast conversation.
"You didn't know you left me on dry out country," I reminded him. They had assumed I was right behind them in what is substantially a vast, unmarked, watery grave where sushi comes from – and did non even realise I was missing.
"We did …" he said. "After about 25 minutes, nosotros looked around and we realised Phin wasn't there. Nosotros were like, "Okay, I call up he's fine. He probably has a cocktail in mitt."
Considering that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is what loving friends do when they realise someone is missing in the middle of the open sea: Shrug their shoulders, presume he hasn't drowned or been attacked by a Sharktopus, and just merrily keep hanging with sea turtles while Sebastian the crab sings Under The Ocean to a jaunty calypso rhythm.
Never mind that I was actually drinking a cocktail on dry country.
After I had decided that a cold pina colada was the safer pick compared to certain death (all those Choose Your Own Risk books I read growing upwards finally came in useful), I walked to the nearest beach hut and drew doodles of my friends getting eaten by parrot fish. Where I somehow proceeded to lose that bubble tea straw attachment of the snorkel mask and had to pay S$l to buy new gear to replace it.
And this is why friends are of import: How else would one capeesh the glory of being alive if your friends didn't try to kill y'all? Cheers, funnyman.
Listen to the total podcast to fully sympathise what life with Chua Enlai is like.
New episodes of House Party For two are published every Sunday at cna.asia/podcasts. This podcast was recorded in early December, 2019. Both House Political party For 2 host and invitee are at present hibernating safely in their respective homes.
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/entertainment/chua-enlai-house-party-for-2-podcast-253986
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